“Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind.”
― Dr. Seuss
My best friend sent me the quote above after I had a difficult start to the morning. Over the last couple years I have been trying to find my voice again. This morning I was challenged and considered deleting a blog post that I consider one of the best pieces I've ever written. To do so would have been to silence a piece of me, so in the end I left it. It is a part of my family history and it has affected, and is still affecting, us. I will not recant how I felt in that moment, nor how the story has played out. You are correct: it cannot be undone. None of it can.
I don't know who sent me the message. If it is the person I suspect, despite it all I love you. You have been a part of my life for years and I honor that. My heart hurts that you would leave such an angry anonymous note instead of talking to me directly. The picture of you, my brother, and I in the Armory stairwell is still one of my most beloved pictures. Aside from the accusations, I don't know what transpired to cause such a drastic relational shift, but I think if you were to take a look at the history you would find the accusations mute. I am sorry life has dealt you a crappy hand over the last year. It is my prayer you find healing for the hurts you carry and find comfort in those who love you.
If you are not someone I have a history with I don't know what to say that won't sound completely condescending, which is not my intent. You don't know me and I don't know you, so it is a leap to expect you to know my heart. It is clear I have offended you and it seems I have a very different picture of the course of events than you do. What I do know is myself, my family, and those who matter to me. I hope what you described was a gross exaggeration. If it was not, I hope you have people in your life who recognize that you are struggling and will rally around you. In the case you don't or they can't, it is my prayer you will see that there is always hope and find a way out yourself and make a better tomorrow.
Don't give up.