The last month has been a whirlwind of emotions. It has been a proving ground for my faith and values. It has been uncomfortable, painful, exhausting, and trying. In coming face to face with a nightmare I have seen what my values are really made of
As my support system has split into factions around the issue I have been able to hold my head up and keep pushing through with a sense of peace I've never known. Yes, fear of the unknown is there. Yes, my plans have been trashed. Yes, my life is upside down and inside out and none of it is fair or my fault. Yes, my heart is bruised and broken. Yet despite all the discomfort and pain, the knowledge that it is all out of my hands and at the close - however far into the future that ends up being - the Bentleys will be stronger for having endured.
In the time I've spent meditating on and practicing grace I have begun to wrestle with the question of redemption and restoration. I believe redemption is always possible, and out of that comes restoration, but in my humanness I don't always want to believe it's available to everyone. The beauty of the gift is I don't get to pick and choose who "qualifies" for redemption. I am comforted that not one of us is ever too far beyond the reach of grace and there is always hope for restoration if we're willing to do the dirty work. Redemption and restoration is dirty work.
Lord, help me stand by my relationships even in the yuck and see the work through to completion. May You make something beautiful from these ashes.