Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What If...

What if I filled out the application? What if I actually submitted it? What if I was selected?  What would my life look like then? What if it's worth it? What if it's not?

It is becoming increasingly obvious that my work life has come to a stalemate. The job I have was a great job, with an organization I am proud to be part of, when I was finishing my college degree. It was never intended to be something permanent - even with the 12-cent raise and additional 4 hrs (woohoo, 28 hrs/week) upon graduation. My career, and life, goals are much bigger than this. I am not cut out to be an assistant and I do not feel good about my performance as of late.

So, I have dug in and am starting the job search process. Looking for jobs is never the problem. On many occasions I have searched craigslist and created an entirely new life in Denver, Phoenix, and, once, in Georgia. It's the actually filling out the application, and should the application get filled out, actually sending it in. I always fail on one of those two fronts. 

The two jobs I have found that align with my long-term goals also come with some challenges. Namely, moving. I don't want a commuter marriage, so with moving comes the questions of what to do with my husband's schooling. My heart's desire is that he finish his degree and get his teaching certificate. His heart's desire is I find a job I am fulfilled in and will ultimately help me as I shoot for grad school. 

We've been discussing our different options, but the thing that remains the same is my husband's support of me pursuing these options. There's nothing more motivating than that, despite all the "what ifs."


Aki Mori said...

You gotta know what your options are first. Search, apply, interview, and get offers. If they ask, "Are you willing to move?" you say, "If the conditions are right, absolutely." If the offer's good enough to both you and your husband, you accept. If it's not you don't. (That's the theory at least... if only life were that easy!)

Laura Reese said...

I'll pray for you two as you explore your options, for wisdom to make decisions and that you find something you can love and be excited about!
It may look overwhelming, but I know you can do it!

momma zen said...

Those are big decisions and I wish you the best with the decision making ahead of you. I applaud your bravery and motivation to get out there and grow and experience more with your field. With as much time as people put of their lives into jobs it truly is most important they are feeling a since of fulfillment from it!

Alanna @ Blood, Sweat & Cupcakes said...

It can be really hard coming up the answers to these kind of questions. I just started grad school and my boyfriend just finished. Chances are he will have to move to find work and I will have to stay here to finish up school. We've been together for a long time but it's still going to be hard I'm sure, in the end however we'll be doing what's best for us and our future together.